Understanding sexual violence
Straight information, kept as plain and non-graphic as possible — so you can recognize what's happened, cut through the myths, and understand what consent really requires.
What "sexual assault" covers
Sexual assault is a broad legal and clinical term. It includes rape, but also any sexual contact or activity that happens without freely given consent — including coercion, unwanted touching, and attempts that didn't fully occur. It can happen once or repeatedly, in a relationship or outside one, and to anyone regardless of age, gender, or how they were dressed.
It is never about what the survivor did. It's about a choice someone else made to ignore or override consent.
There is no "typical" survivor
Survivors are women, men, and non-binary people; children, teens, adults, and elders; straight, LGBTQ+, married, single, sober, or intoxicated. Most survivors know the person who assaulted them — a partner, date, friend, relative, or colleague. Strangers are involved in a minority of cases.
None of this changes what happened or how much support someone deserves.
The stories that keep survivors quiet
These myths show up constantly — in comment sections, courtrooms, and conversations with well-meaning friends. Here's what the evidence actually says.
It's usually a stranger jumping out of the dark.
Most survivors are assaulted by someone they know — a partner, friend, date, or acquaintance.
What someone wore, drank, or said "invited" it.
Responsibility sits entirely with the person who chose to assault. Clothing and alcohol don't cause assault — perpetrators do.
If they didn't fight or scream, it wasn't "real" assault.
Freezing is an automatic, involuntary trauma response — as common as fighting or fleeing, and just as valid.
Men and boys aren't really victims.
Men and boys are assaulted too, and often face extra stigma that makes it even harder to come forward.
False reports are common.
Research consistently finds false reports are rare — in the same low range as false reports for other crimes.
Consent, in plain terms
A widely used framework breaks consent into five parts. All five need to be true — every time.
Freely given
Never the result of pressure, manipulation, threats, or someone being unable to say no.
Reversible
Anyone can change their mind at any point, even mid-act, even if they've consented before.
Informed
Consenting to one thing (like sex with a condom) isn't consent to something else.
Enthusiastic
Only "yes" means yes. Silence, freezing, or the absence of "no" isn't consent.
Specific
Saying yes to one act isn't automatic agreement to another.
Never assumed
Not implied by a relationship, marriage, clothing, flirting, or past encounters.
Recognize something in this?
You don't have to have the words fully sorted out to reach out for support.